I am engaged. It’s a wonderful, yet strange feeling. One I haven’t quite fully comprehended yet. I have a fiancé!! (I haven’t quite managed to say that word yet without sounding like Del Boy attempting a French accent).
I feel a bit guilty though because I’m sure you are supposed to feel completely elated to the point of skipping and singing everywhere you go, and don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly happy and lucky to be Peter’s wife one day, but my issue is solely to do with… “The Wedding”.
Getting engaged is the fun part; you have a movie-perfect, surprising and romantic moment with someone you adore, you get a serious bit of jewelry, and everyone is really nice to you for at least a couple of weeks with cards and gifts etc – it’s like a really good birthday.
But then come the questions; “when are you planning the wedding for?” “What sort of venue do you think you’ll pick?” “Are you getting married here or abroad?” “Thinking summer or winter wedding?”
I’m told many people – women in particular – have a vision of their wedding right from being a child. I have not. I think I’ve probably imagined a wedding several times throughout my life, particularly after meeting Peter, but the vision is forever changing, much like Madonna’s style, if you please. So now that it is here and it’s a reality I feel lost as to what to do or even where to start.
I also get anxiety when I think about the number of people attending, seating arrangements, who comes to the day event or the night event and even who will be part of our actual wedding party.
I’m renowned for struggling to make a decision; even choosing which flavor packet of crisps I want can be a laborious task (one of the many reasons I’m thankful for Peter; his patience). I also worry a lot about what other people will think, which is why the thought of letting anyone down with my wedding is terrible.
Maybe I just need to think of a wedding as not such a bit deal; its just one day – sign some papers, get pissed, go home. Then it won’t stress me so much. But it is a big deal, isn’t it? Possibly one of the most important days of your life…?!
Luckily, I’m marrying someone who is very grounded and rational. Peter doesn’t worry about what others think and wouldn’t let something so personal stress him out.
In fact, I think I’ll just let him plan it. Ooh maybe we can do it through ‘Don’t Tell the Bride?!’
Anna Sheffield ‘Bea’ engagement ring suite